SoulfullyReal: NYC Class CPT Swag

Helen of CPT: How A Fatazz Caused the Pussiest Beef in Hip-Hop History
COMPTON IN THIS BEEYOTCH (What up Serena! Got these niggas THIRSTY I SEE!!!)
Aight, I got my ignant hood reppin’ moment out the way. Let us proceed.
Let me start off by saying I looovvveee me some Common, (to the point I wanted to marry this nigga when I was in college and Be dropped) and I strongly like me some Drake, so what I’m about to get into is as unbiased as it can get. My boo Lonnie is heartbroken. There’s no way this issue between him and Canada Dry warranted the diss he dropped yesterday. Has Drake ever come at Common (pre “Sweet” drop), blatant or subliminal? NO. Is Drake even in the same lane as Common as far as his spot in the industry on some Jeezy vs. Rozay shit? Uh, Not Really. While Common has been in Hip-Hop beef before, do we consider him the type of “rah rah” nigga to start problems with any-fuckin-body? Never.
Here are some yes answers though. Has Common dropped “soft” Hip-Hop? The exact type of shit he’s criticizing Drake for? DUH! Has Common (and not to mention his comrades like Mos Def, Kanye, 3 Stacks and others) ever sung on a track about some emotional shit? Obviously! I mean, I’d never say Chi-Town’s god is pussy, he went to war with a pre-Disney Ice Cube in his prime when Cube was cookin’ niggas on a weekly basis, and came out damn near without a scratch. Make no mistake, Common is a fuckin’ beast, but are we really gonna just sit here and pretend like Common can come out of nowhere and call anybody soft without getting the side eye?
So what is this really about? I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious, but let me paint a picture for those who could give a fuck about gossip and only follow the music. Tennis superstar and my sis (in my head) Serena Williams was Common’s piece for a good minute. Not a fling, I mean kickin’ it for YEARS! No ring of course, so they did the break up to make up thing every few months, but it was understood that that massive hump of bulging womanhood barely hidden under Champion boy shorts belonged to Mr. Lynn. Now, for whatever reason, Serena never became Mrs. Lynn, and was back out on the market. No doubt they both had their rebounds, but who do we catch Serena pop, lockin and droppin it for in his condo? Drizzy baby. Small world ain’t it? That video leaks/ gets deleted, pics of the two playin tennis surface and Drake releases a statement to the effect of “You left your draws in the sheets, you can pick em up later doe” to the public right around the time of those Dreamer/ Believer studio sessions.
So yeah, long story short, Common’s salty he just dropped a bestselling book, album and was invited to speak at the White House, and she’s kickin it with wheelchair Jimmy. I get it, love hurts, but let’s just be honest about the whole reason. This isn’t a beef “for Hip-Hop.” Hip-Hop is the vessel but it clearly ain’t the cause. I’ve seen grown women envy and grown men weep over a Serena status ass, and this time, it clearly got the best of one of the best.
For the record Com, I’m available. My ass doesn’t also serve as a nightstand but I could definitely take your mind off of Serena, Taraji, Kerry and Erykah. You don’t know wordplay until you date a journalist, boo.